"Our girlfriends are our soulmates..." -Sex in the City

I lay curled up on my couch with a half-eaten pint of Ben & Jerry’s and binge watching Scandal on Netflix. I wasn’t excepting to be this upset about ending things with Cole. I had even canceled my dinner plans with Andrew, and he was ultimately the one I chose. But he didn’t know that, and I didn’t want to be mourning the end of one relationship when I was starting to get into another.

As expected, not long after Cole had left Sky and Lauren were both blowing up the group chat wanting answers. Ah the downside to dating your best friends boyfriends roommate. And so I set my phone to silent before my ice cream and Netflix binge and here I was, alone with my two boys and President Fitz and his mistress. Watching Olivia’s struggle with being the other women as I once would commit to being should have probably changed my mind, but her and Fitz’s love just made me want to be with Andrew that much more. I must be sick in the head or something. Just as I was counting down the second for Netflix to automatically start another episode and keep me glued to my couch without even needing to get up and find the remote, I heard a knock on my door.

I laid back and closed my eyes, trying to ignore whoever was on the other side of the door. But the knocking kept coming, louder and louder and louder until I couldn’t take it anymore. “IM COMING!” I yelled, as I climbed off the couch and jogged to the door, swinging it open to find the girls each holding a bottle of wine. They pushed past me into the house before I could turn them away (not that I would of, I mean come on, they had wine!).

“Oooo Scandal,” Lauren said as she climbed on the couch, “and it looks like were just in time to save you from a sugar coma” she added, laughing as she picked up the almost empty carton of ice cream.

I couldn’t help but laugh and smile, which is exactly what I needed. But I knew I was about to get questioned by both of them and for that I was not prepared. I still didn’t know what to say about Andrew. But I knew I needed to at least tell them something about why I had ended things. I grabbed the ice cream and found the lid, returning it to my freezer (which by the way my dad left fully stocked along with my fridge!) I grabbed three wine glasses down from my cabinet but was interrupted as soon as I did, “Oh no you don’t!” Sky practically yelled, “Three bottles, one for each, no glasses needed. And were sleeping here tonight.” She said, smiling, “so just bring a wine opener and yourself back to the couch women!”

I laughed, rolling my eyes and grabbed my wine opener from the junk drawer, returning to my spot on the couch. “You guys didn’t have to come here, I am okay.” I assured them, as I tossed Sky the wine opener and got an opened bottle of white zinfandel back.

“We know you are ‘okay’,” Lauren said, rolling her eyes and using air quotes around the word okay. “But in the reality of things, we know you’re not, and we want details, hence the personal bottles of wine to get your to spill your guts.” She said winking and laughing as I took a big swig from the bottle, closing my eyes as I felt it slide smoothly down my throat. Ah the first sip is always the best. I mentally scolded myself, remembering I had to be up and at work at 7 tomorrow morning, but that thought was shoved aside with another gulp of wine.

“So, please tell me why Cole came home, interrupted me and Toms rendezvous on the couch, huffing and puffing all over the place and looking for a bottle of god only knows what…” Sky asked, looking across the room at me curiously.

Wow I guess we weren’t wasting any time with the details. I took a big chug of wine, contemplating what I was going to say. I knew I needed to keep Andrew a secret, but I needed to tell them. I needed to talk to someone.

“I ended it,” I said lightly, shrugging a little. “I couldn’t give myself to him 100%, so I just ended it.” I said carefully, trying to gauge their reactions.

“But why!” Lauren asked, “He seemed perfect, how could you not give all of yourself to someone. Who else is keeping your mind occupied?” she asked, her words fading out at the end, realizing the answer to the question as she asked it.

I nodded my head a little, answering the unasked question of whether or not it was Andrew. I couldn’t help but reach for the bottle again and take another large drink of it. I didn’t know how they were going to react. They knew he was married, and now they knew I was setting myself up to be his mistress.

Simultaneously the girl’s eyes practically bugged out of their heads as their mouth dropped opened. I couldn’t help but laugh, and instantly covered my mouth knowing it wasn’t the right time for that.

“But he’s, Andrew. Married. What!?” Sky rambled, trying to make sense of this all.

“Sky you cannot tell Tom. Please. I don’t want Cole to know who was behind all of this. I told him there was someone else but not who, and especially not that it was a married man. Please.” I pleaded, “I just told him I needed to figure things out with someone else before I could be involved with anyone. I know he won’t wait for me to figure my shit out, and I don’t expect him too, hell he didn’t even try to fight for me, he just walked away so maybe he doesn’t really even give a shit, but I just don’t want him finding out. And I promised Andrew I wouldn’t tell anyone about him and me, so I don’t want to regret telling you guys. Secret. Please.” I practically begged now. “Besides, I’m going to tell Andrew he needs to choose me or his wife, he can’t have both,” I added softly, not knowing how they would react to that little detail. It hadn’t hit me until I spoke the words that I was about to break up a family. Fuck.

“I won’t say anything,” Lauren said softly, looking over at me sympathetically, then looking to Sky waiting for her reassurance. I looked over at her as well, I knew I was putting her in a tough position because I was sure Tom was bound to ask what had happened, but I couldn’t have them knowing. I couldn’t risk potentially hurting Cole more.

“He does give a shit about you Jess. Cole, I mean. I haven’t seen up so disgruntled over a girl in a long time. But I won’t say anything. I promise. As long as you won’t see Andrew if he doesn’t leave his wife.” She added quickly.

“I promise,” I whispered nodding my head yes to assure her even more. “Thank you guys for coming over.”

“Oh please, we just needed a wine and scandal excuse!” Lauren exclaimed lightening up the mood, laughing as she held her bottle out, “cheers ladies!”

We all clinked bottles and drank more, getting comfortable and starting scandal back up a few episodes back so we could all be on the same page. I looked at both girls smiling as they intently watched the show, I may not have Cole, and after talking to Andrew I may not have him, but I had my girlfriends, and I was damn lucky for that.