Saturday, March 29, 2014

Ripping off the band-aid

***First of all, I just want to say thank you for all the support you all have been giving me. I hit over 11,000 viewers this past week and I am truly mind blown and ecstatic. Never in a million years was I expecting to have the following and amount of readers that I have now. It is crazy knowing people all around the world are reading my work. Thank you all for continuing on this journey with me, as well as with Jessica. I hope I can continue to impress. And hopefully my schedule will allow posts to become more frequent as they were in the beginning.***


I knocked lightly on the door of Andrew's apartment, holding back the tears in my eyes already. I turned to walk away, the door opening just as I took a step away. I froze hearing his voice, “Jess?” I took a deep breath, preparing myself to turn around when I heard him speak again, “what are you doing here?” he asked, moving out into the hall a little.

I turned around, blinking the tears away and smiled, shrugging a little “hi...” I whispered, the words coming out a little softer than I thought. “I just um thought I would come say hi, have time for a break from work stuff?” I asked weakly, trying to act like everything was alright.

He smiled and I swear I felt it in my gut. “I would love that, come inside.” He said flashing his perfect teeth again and motioning for me to walk inside.

I took a few steps into the apartment, looking around as he shut the door behind us. I instantly found myself searching for pictures of other people, of family, friends, his wife, but there was nothing. No photographs, just a few paintings hung on the wall. I was surprised at how nicely the apartment seemed to be kept. It was spotless, with an open floor plan, big living room and kitchen. And all the furniture was beautiful.

“Nice place.” I said turning and smiling at him as he made his way into the kitchen and grabbed two beers from the fridge. “I’ll take water actually...” I said, figuring that I best be sober if I was about to take care of this marriage business.

I walked over and leaned against the kitchen counter as he exchanged the beer for water then made his way across the kitchen towards me. Did he have to look so good? Damn how was I going to do this? I mentally thanked myself for getting ready at least a little bit today as he made his way closer to me. He handed me the water, pulling it and me closer to him when I reached for the bottle. His arms coming around me and nestling my up against him as he leaned down to kiss me. He even smelt delicious. Shit.

I moved my head to the side a little, his kiss landing more on my cheek then. Smiling as I pulled away, closing my eyes to focus and then walking away from him towards the couch.

“We have to talk.” I finally said, feeling his eyes watch me as I walked around the room trying to pull myself together.

“Uhh alright?” he said a little confused and walked over to his on the couch, motioning for me to join him.

I sat across from him, knowing I had to stand my ground. “What is…this?” I asked motioning between the two of us and looking over at him quizzically.

“What? You and me?” he asked, opening his mouth to speak again then closing it, thinking about what he was going to say. “I like you, a lot Jess, and I’ve only seen you a few times, yes, but I have really enjoyed the little time we have spent together.” He said smiling over at me a little and I could feel a knot growing in my throat. “I want to keep seeing you. I want to kiss you more and hold you when you sleep again.” He said laughing a little, rubbing the back of his neck to try and distance himself from his vulnerability. I hated him in that moment, for making me like him even more when I knew I simply couldn’t.

“And there’s nothing that’s going to keep that from happening?” I asked carefully, seeing if he would own up to it.

He moved across the room sitting beside me now, taking my hand in his as he shook his head no. Looks like he wasn’t as much of a man as I thought. I pulled my hand away from him and stood, walking towards the door then turning back to him. Tears started flowing from my eyes, “am I not worth the truth?” I asked hurt. “You lying bastard.” I mumbled, moving away from his as he stood and started walking over to me. I reached into my bag and pulled the ring out of my purse, holding it up to he could see it clearly. His face looking like someone just punch him directly in the gut.

 “Don’t you dare tell me there’s nothing that’s going to keep us from being anything more than whatever the fuck this is….or was,” I spat out as I walked to the side table near the door and slammed the ring down on it, pointing my finger at him and glaring, “I never should have trusted you.” I shouted, crying harder now. Mad at myself for showing him how much this had all gotten and broken me. I took a deep breath, shaking a little and wiped my running makeup off my face then turned and reached for the door handle.

I flung the door open, hearing it smack hard against his wall as I stormed down the hall way, pushing the elevator button repetitively, urging it to come quicker, wanting to just escape this whole situation. I heard the elevator ding, about to open at the same time I heard Andrew jogging down the hallway towards me, I looked back, seeing him running at me, then closed my eyes and stepped into the elevator. I needed to get away. I pushed the button to close the doors, Andrews hand slipping between them and stopping them just as they were about to close.

“Get away from me,” I said, looking up at him through teary eyes. “Please just let me go.” I begged

“If that’s what you want, fine. But I know you don’t want this to change things, and you know you won’t be able to stop thinking about whatever this was.” He said, putting the last few works in air quotes, mimicking me a little.

I glared up at him, stepping forward to reach for the button to close the doors again, hoping he could take a hint.

Just as I pulled my hand away from the button he grabbed it, pulling me close to him. “Goodbye Jessica” he whispered before planting his lips on mine, kissing me hard and passionately. Chills running up my spine as he flicked his tongue over my bottom lip, biting it softly then turned and stepped out of the elevator. Smiling sympathetically as he watched the doors close and finally put distance between us.

1 comment:

  1. I love your blog a lot and it's getting better and better I can't wait to see how this goes and what comes of it.. It was a little sad I like Andrew I hope things can work out soon tho!! He was write she will have to go back to get closeure or whatever because she'll beat her self up now wondering about it.. I like that this blog was a little longer I think I am just spoiled to long post I believe from all that I read they are really long.. But keep up the good work I can't wait to read the next post!!